My 2018 NFL Mock Draft

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Round 1

1. Cleveland Browns - It doesn't matter.

2. New York Giants - Anyone would be lucky to play ball in the Big Apple.

3. New York Jets - The ghost of Broadway Joe only grows larger.

4. Cleveland Browns - It doesn't matter.

5. Denver Broncos - 22 playoffs appearances since 1977.

6. Indianapolis Colts - Take all your meals at St. Elmo Steak House

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Bring back the original uniforms.

8. Chicago Bears - "You're never a loser until you quit trying." -- Mike Ditka

9. San Francisco 49ers - Do they still play professional football?

10. Oakland Raiders - Can you draft the Golden Knights?

11. Miami Dolphins - Hilarious.

12. Buffalo Bills - It hasn't been the same since the 90s.

13. Washington Redskins - Overrated franchise.

14. Green Bay Packers - Legacy hampers the team - the last championship was in 2010.

15. Arizona Cardinals - That turf field looks nice.

16. Baltimore Ravens - You'll win a championship once a generation - enjoy it.

17. Los Angeles Chargers - Is Shohei Ohtani available?

18. Seattle Seahawks - At least you have access to good coffee and Amazon Go

19. Dallas Cowboys - Don't Mess with Texas. Learn it. Know it. Live it.

20. Detroit Lions - Ask to be traded to a CFL team.

21. Cincinnati Bengals - Boomer Esiason was the best.

22. Buffalo Bills - See 12.

23. New England Patriots - How much do you like to win?

24. Carolina Panthers - People like living in North Carolina.

25. Tennessee Titans - You have to wear those uniforms, sadly.

26. Atlanta Falcons - You can have early access to Atlanta United FC matches.

27. New Orleans Saints - Seems like a swell city to play professional football.

28. Pittsburgh Steelers - Too bad Sidney Crosby isn't available.

29. Jacksonville Jaguars - Enjoy all the trips to London Town.

30. Minnesota Vikings - Spectacular stadium.

31. New England Patriots - Win. Win. Win.

32. Philadelphia Eagles - Bradley Cooper is a season ticket holder - that's cool.